Feeling the heat... what they DON'T tell you about being pregnant in the Summer

So, I'm not new to this, it's my second baby AND my second Summer baby. Liv was born in July and the new addition is due in August, so you'd think I was only too aware as to what Id let myself in for, but y'see time is most definitely a healer and with it I seemed to of forgotten what sheer hell awaited for me come the sun.

Here is my list of what they don't tell you about being pregnant in the Summer and heat:

1. You sweat. more than you ever thought was possible. it comes out of every orifice, every nook and cranny. You don't even need to do anything in particular to make you suddenly feel your top lip glisten: today I was purely sat on the sofa and I was sweating profusely. Also who knew that you could sweat quite so much from underneath your boobs.... seriously...
2. Because of the above be fully prepared to change your clothes more than once a day. If not for the sweating alone, it'll be because everything feels just so. bloody. tight. and constricting. 
3. It is possible to swell EVEN MORE when pregnant because of the heat. Even my bump feels way more bigger, and then there's your hands and oh my the feet... the sausage trotters..... 
4. You'll want to drink so much water. And just when you think you've drunk enough your mouth will feel like Ghandi's flipflop once more and you'll need to down another pint of fluid - obviously visiting the toilet 3948575739296 times in the interim
5. Small tasks become like the very end of the world. I dropped a fork on the floor in the kitchen today, and I can safely say I feared for my knees, my back and the ability to lift myself back up off the floor. Everything you do will move 350x times more slower than you thought possible.
6. No summer cocktails for you. I am rather partial to a nice cooling refreshing mojitos come the summer however not this time.... yeah try the non-alcoholic version thats just the same.. NOT!
7. You'll suddenly find yourself turning everything into a fan or cooling device. Today I used my living room door to waft some air at myself, I used my child's muslin to soak in water and then drape over my feet and I'm not gonna lie to you, I very nearly grabbed a cooler pack from the freezer and strapped it to my undercarriage. Man you get hot around there!
8. The very thought of wearing a bra will seem EVEN more hellish than normal. It will grip you where it shouldn't and hold your ever expanding bust to ransom and then slowly itch you, make you sweat more and rub you until you cant take it anymore and you just have to take it off.... but we all know what its like carrying around 2 preggo boobies dont we, add in them being set free and well...
9. You won't be glowing in pregnancy, it will be sweat. On your brow, over your top lip and oddly behind your ears. Your make up will slowly but surely slide off your face until you look a very moist coco the clown.
10. Hello odd tan lines. Your body is unable to tan nicely whilst pregnant. Instead you'll tan stupidly easily and develop some nice odd unexplainable patches to go alongside your new glow.

Obviously it's not all bad, and there are way more upsides, but being preggo when the heat rises is HARD! Anyone else with me on this??

10 ways to boost productivity as a stay-at-home mum

One thing I seemed to really struggle with post having a baby and then the consequently giving up work was how to be productive! Days would simply merge into one another, time would pretty much disappear (either going by two quickly and you haven't done anything, OR going so slowly you cannot believe you've still got 6 hours left of single parenting until the husband gets home) I would drift from one meaningless task to another and never making headway with pretty much ANYTHING. I would make excuses or I would start and never finish about a gazillion jobs and then be so overwhelmed with the task in hand that I'd sink back into the dark hole of feeling a bit blue.

I like to be busy, who doesn't, and yes being a full time mum is a type of busy but its a lonley, unrewarded type of busy and that, for someone who has always enjoyed working, was finding hard. Some days I would seriously wonder what my purpose was. I didn't mean it in a selfish way, and it doesn't take away just how much I adore my daughter and how privileged I feel at being able to stay at home with her, it was a very personal feeling, a pre-baby feeling, the 'old Sarah' type feeling, and something had to change.

Small changes have led me to feel more wholesome in my quest to be more productive. Time really IS of the essence when you have kids and you want to do something else with your time/life and finally I feel I may have achieved a small glimmer of hope in this side of my life - so here are my top tips at boosting your productivity when you are a SAHM.

I would find myself writing endless long 'to-so' lists that just weren't achievable. YES - I really did have that much to do, but even looking at the list made the entire thing seem so unachievable in the small space of time I had, that I just didn't even want to begin and so the sofa seemed WAY more appealing.
I learn to filter down this list by aiming to complete just 2 things from that list per day. They didn't have to be two big jobs, but two jobs none the less. I instantly felt unpressured and felt I was more than capable to achieve what I was setting out to do. Filtering in time for just two jobs is WAY easier than finding hours on end to complete your list WHILST having a small person yell "mummy" at you for the 600th time.

If I completed these two jobs I wouldn't add to them, or feel like I had to do more, this was it, I was done. Everything else was for me or dedicated to Liv. I also felt I could schedule these two tasks much better on my weekly planner! Don't aim to high and shoot yourself down before you've even had a chance - you're worth more than that!

Sounds utterly trivial, but I have a weekly planner that I manually fill in either on a Sunday or Monday with the weeks tasks and goals. So I always feature Liv's plans, meal ideas and my tasks that I need to get completed. Get involved in some crazy kick-ass stationery - Paperchase is of course my go to favourite and for the small amount they cost it really makes you feel empowered to write all of your ideas and plans down.
I stick mine to my fridge so it's at an easy place to glance at every day. I feel more organised, more centred and less confused about what I should be doing and when! If it works better for you by doing it on your phone DO IT, but make sure you make the time to religiously do it every week!

I was the worst for wasting nap times. I used to set up  camp and just eat, watch tv and scan instagram and before I knew it, Liv was awake and again I'd achieved zilch in my day. Now, dont get me wrong, we all look forward to nap time as a way of chilling out so no matter what, limit yourself to a fixed time that you will achieve any tasks or goals you've set for yourself. I know Liv naps for an hour and a half so I'll work for 45minutes and the rest is relax time for me. Even if you use nap times to put some washing on and then go and relax for the remainder - you are STILL being productive. reward yourself. Remember dont set your goals or tasks to high - do what you can effectively.

If you're child doesnt nap, use the morning times to set your toddler up with an activity that requires minimal supervision and if it means putting on their fave tv channel for just an hour out of the day then so be it - dont be ashamed!

If you are planning on doing work such as blogging, writing, or any other computer based activity why dont you set yourself up a work station. One that fills you with comfort and relaxation. It can be anywhere - hell, even in bed if you wish, but creating an environment, away from too many distractions is best. For me, I use my kitchen table to blog from when Liv naps. I light a candle, lay my laptop out, have a pen and paper handy, a banana and a glass of water or mug of tea before I set to work. Set yourself up with meaning, get cushions on your chair, and even change into comfy clothes if you must. Make it a pleasurable experience.
I find I work better without the tv or music as I am queen of distraction however I continuously find the app 'Noisli' either on the laptop or on my phone as having some background noise. It's amazing how much more I find my ideas flow and how faster I work. My fave sound? the coffee shop! Find it here

Sounds absolutely ludicrous if you are a SAHM but if your child sleeps in until say 7am most mornings, why not schedule in for just one morning a week for you to wake up an hour/half hour earlier to do something for you. Whether it be a early morning run, some yoga, reading your fave magazines with a hot brew in silence or even choosing to do some housework. One morning a week isnt too much and you'll be amazed at home much you can get done with an extra hour. 

Don't get me wrong, I know when you've been up copious times in the night with little one the last thing you want to do is to wake up earlier but take each circumstance as it comes and be kind to you. The world is not going to stop because you didn't do this, just do it another day. And if your child wakes up at 6am or earlier everyday DONT go getting up an hour before that, instead use the early morning to be productive, do your chores, have a longer breakfast, get washed and dressed and you'll soon realise how much more time you have for the rest of the day. Try to turn the frown upside down!

You most definitely can't pour from an empty cup - trust me its true. Remember to keep your strength up by snacking and drinking often. I was finding myself leaving eating until the last minute so I would gorge myself on all the wrong stuff and then crash in the afternoon making myself feel sluggish and lazy. Now, I snack on fruit and veg sticks, and drink copious water.I was amazed at how dehydrated I had been before I purchased a water bottle. I know it sounds so simple and pathetic, but having a snazzy water bottle by the side of me reminded me to keep drinking, keep the fluids up and I instantly felt fuller and of more energy. That's not to say I dont have treats. BOY I HAVE TREATS, but I save them for the evenings so if I feel a bit BLAH, I can go to bed knowing Ive done everything I want too.

I'm a firm believer that reading and looking at things online that are of interest can create and stir something inside of you that boosts your productivity. Every morning I log onto Twitter, Instagram and read my fave blogs. I'll watch the latest news in between various episodes of Hey Duggee that Liv is watching and after getting immersed in the world of social media for no more than an hour I feel full of life and more creative. Look for things that catch your eye. It could be a headline that stirs a response in you that you want to blog. A play idea that you cant wait to try with your little one, or a place to visit as a family - social media is most definitely your friend when used wisely!

As much as social media can be a great tool, if like me and you love it a little too much, it can also really really hinder productivity. You can easily lose countless hours by scouring the internet with absolutely nothing to show for it. It also tends to make me feel like a pretty bad mum if I'm on it for too long when Liv is busy playing. Again, I limit myself to certain times (normally early morning and during nap times when I have done anything I want to do and when Liv has gone to bed). Pick your times wisely and when you're not on social media or on phone, delve deep into life in front of you and be present.

So if  you done well in your job you would receive praise, or a reward and whats to say this is any different. Look at you, you are a SAHM who has also managed to achieve everything on her weeks to do list! I mean superwoman! I give myself a little reward if I've done well, a morning out at the weekend to go drink coffee in peace, a new nail varnish, a whole hour of non stop tv watching... ANYTHING you like, but be proud of you - you deserve it!

And hey, if the day just isnt going to plan and the productivity is at an all time low DON'T WORRY. Grab a kiss and cuddle off your little one and trust me you'll feel a million times better. You are keeping a little one alive for Christs sake that is more than enough sometimes! 

Enough love for two

The love I feel for Liv is beyond anything I've ever known or ever expected I would feel in life. Its unconditional of course, but there is something very different with the love I feel for her: it's almost like she is exactly what I needed in my life - she was sent from above and delivered to me because she was exactly what I was made for. She's so similar to me it's a little scary at times. She is so in tune with my feelings and emotions (yes she does spend every day with me) that she always manages to do or act in just the way I really need at that moment in time. It probably wont stay this way when she grows up and other thoughts filter her mind, but right now, she is pretty much the life and soul of me, so of course I cant help but wonder that with baby number 2 on its way that this love, the one me and Liv share will never be, and could never duplicated a second time round?

I know it sounds utterly silly to say it, and I dont worry that I wont love my second girl gang member, but how can I possibly have the same special, close, tight, and almost soulmate relationship I have with Liv? Is it possible and do I want it to be? When Liv came along my love'o'meter had to split into two: some love for my husband and some for this new human and I barely managed that. Prior to having a child I was never an overly affectionate person, I craved contact with people but was never reliant on physical affection and my husband was used to that, however everything changed with Liv - we spend all our time cuddling each other, and touching some how, so Im truly worried and a little bit scared of how I am going to manage to split this love again for another tiny human.

Will the love and relationship I have with Liv suffer because I suddenly have a new focus, a new tiny baby that is so dependent on me? The fear of the unknown kills me, it keeps me awake at night, wondering how our family dynamics are going to change, how on earth I will cope, and addressing the elephant in the room will I fall victim to the dark cloud of PND again. Pregnancy is often seen as almost joyous most amazing experience and for 90% it really is, but I can't help but have a small part of me that worries about the what if's. First pregnancy I felt so shocked by suddenly having a human to look after that I fell victim to so many things that ultimately ruined those precious newborn days and for that, I am scared as I dont want to inflict that on my newest member, nor on my poor husband and my amazing Liv.

I see mothers who sail through first babies and ultimately second and third children so I feel so much pressure to be one of those, but already I feel like I've failed by even having these thoughts. I want to read about someone else who has wondered if they'll love their subsequent children as much as their first born, I want to know that this will pass and the love will come easy and unfiltered. I want to know that Liv will love me and I her just as much as we currently do. There is a whole amazing feeling of expecting your first born and here I am baby number two on its way and even throughout my pregnancy I have been acting so very different to my first - does it mean I dont care as much? does it make me a bad person and mother?

As mothers and women we try to do everything, fulfill every expectation and tick every 'good mother' box, but do we really need to do this to ourselves? Maybe I should just let nature take its course and hope that I end up on the sunny side of the path.

Seeing double

So now we know what colour it is, things are suddenly getting oh so real, and dare I say it, I've even started to plan or at least THINK about the things I may need, and even stuff that I definitely do not need second time around ( its amazing how wise you get to the tatt you dont need) Following on from previous posts, all I can currently think about is pushchairs or prams. I've started to think that maybe, just maybe a double is the way forward - it makes sense to be able to shove both my sprogs into one place right? but the real question is - where do I start?

Pushchairs and prams to me are a market that is inundated with brands announcing the new/best yet pushchair that is potentially going to make us mums lives WAY easier (however unless this pushchair is going to do the night feeds I dont buy into it) I find searching out the best products really hard and this is definitely proving harder than most. We are a one wage household with me not working and so literally every penny counts so when it comes to possibly buying a new pushchair its absolutely gotta be the right decision - we can only do this once guys! So after countless evenings spent glued to my laptop and bugging the sh** outta my 2 kid friends I've made a list of 'doubles' that have made it to my 'most wanted' list!

I'm not gonna lie to you but I totally and utterly fell in love with this Phil and Teds double pushchair as soon as I saw it. It's like a work of art. They have obviously REALLY thought about this. The variations are endless and thats what is just so darn appealing. My biggest worry with making this decision is obvious - getting it wrong and picking a pushchair that just doesn't work, but I cant see how you can with this Phil and Teds option.
So, the nitty gritty, the Voyager has a really cool looking 4 in 1 seat that pretty much grows with you and the kids - starting life as a lay flat bassinet, progresses to a versatile seat that is fully reversible. Then add in the double kit - the second seat is fully adaptable as the main seat which is rare in a double - the double can convert to a double lie flat which is fab if you were having twins, the double kit then reverts to the upright stroller - everyone's happy right?
Now, Im not gonna lie to you, I dont know how easy this folds up, although according to the site its really straight forward which again, if it does, is a definite winner for me, I cant be doing with anything with too many bits and pieces to put together!
Price - it aint cheap BUT I do think you are getting alot of options and quality for your money. Priced at £599 for the Voyager as it is and an additional £159 for the double kit doesn't make it easy on the purse strings HOWEVER I do think its a good looking pushchair and seems to have all the bells and whistles you'd want from a double and for me, the versatility sells it and puts it straight into the top for me.
Go have a look at their website HERE for more info

I'd never heard of an Out'n'abount pushcahir until one of friends rocked up in one last time we went out for a walk. I had already had experience of the Baby Jogger brand and this looked quite similar, but when I looked the closely the seats looked completely different: more cosy and more suited to a newborn. I went straight home and researched the crap outta them. From first sight the Out 'n' About is a sturdy looking double pushchair with the capabilities of really going off-road. Both seats recline independently so obviously you can seat different aged children, and there is an additional newborn support which you can pop in to enable you to take a much younger one. The difference with the latest Out 'n' About they now have individual sun hoods, which would do well to avoid any arguments! 

Now the one absolute biggest plus points with this double is that it is slimline to the point where it measures 72cm wide so will most definitely fit through most doorways And it only weighs 12.8kg so is pretty much one the lightest double's on the market, which for me who lacks ALL kinds of upper body strength is a definite selling point!

So, price... this is a great 'ALL IN' kinda pushchair with no additional charges to make it into a double if you know what I mean, however they do some pretty nifty accessories to go with this (I'm loving the handmuffs!) Priced at £524.95 you kinda get what you pay for. These tend to last a long time (or so Im told by friends who own these) and they sell well second hand!

Go check them out HERE

This looks very similar to the Out 'n' About featured above but this one boasts being the most slimmest of the doubles on the market which has always been a big tick in the pushchairs boxes for me - I have trouble steering a single so lord only knows what ill be like with a double!?!? This pushchair is also easy-peasy to create into a single as well as a double so if Liv grows out of it sooner than anticipated I've still got myself a proper nice pushchair for the baby! It has a one-handed unfold which with two kids I'm imagining is ideal (noone wants to drop a baby right) and it is suitable from newborn right up until 4 years old which I think is so ruddy cost-effective! One thing I was mis sold when I got my Quinny was how quickly Liv might grow out of it, whereas this seems like the perfect solution! 

Again, this has the individual sun hoods so each child can relax in the sun or shade as they like, and the wheels pop off super easy for easy storage or fitting into the car! This pushchair seems to really have it all and reasonably priced too! Working out at roughly £495 this is a great spend considering just how much use you are going to get out of it! I'm already sold!
Go check it out HERE

This is pretty much the holy grail of pushchairs in my eyes - I just love Bugaboo, I have been known to stare at other mums Bugaboo in longing! And this double Bugaboo is just..... *sigh* lovely! The Bugaboo Donkey is a mono-duo-mono stroller, with either a side luggage-basket and a large under basket to store all your crap (if you're anything like me) with large swivel multi-terrain wheels that will manovere over any surface and a one piece handle bar makes the pushchair so simple to use. You can expand or downsize in just a matter of clicks. The only thing that slightly worries me is the fact it is a two piece fold which is a little rubbish for me, but I guess if its still easy peasy then I could be swayed.
Reclineable and reversible seats make this stroller easily customiseable. Now, the price...... well, I have to be realistic here, there is no way on gods green earth I could ever afford one of these, despite them being oh so pretty..... However I have been looking at second hand ones. So, the prices start at approx £1,000 however, the price really does rise with the addition of their many 'must-want' accessory's.
Go check them out HERE

I'm not going to lie but I had never heard of the brand Joolz before so this pushchair really caught my eye. It looked proper high-tec (how old am I) and really swish too! It seemed to really suit my need for a double for a toddler AND a newborn rather than a double that can just lie flat.
The carrycot features a hypo-allergenic and breathable mattress that is suitable for your baby to sleep in at night, and the sun hood has a rather nifty ventilation opening made from a mesh fabric that can be opened in order to let the fresh air flow through which is so handy for giving birth to a summer baby.

As for the sat section of the pushchair the footrest is fully extendable so no rogue dangling leggies for your toddlers, and is fully reversible to rear or front facing. Has four wheel suspension making a comfortable ride for baby and toddler (and you) and is smooth flowing when turning. 

I personally think the only down side with this one is having the newborn/baby in the carrycot at the bottom of the pushchair. It just seems weird to be having your precious cargo so low to the ground, not to mention having to bend down that low...
Priced at £899 for everything you get a lot for your money, and it does look really impressive (along the same swish lines as a Bugaboo, however Im not sure as to the positioning of this one but it does have the elusive one motion fold down! 

Available HERE

So guys - HELP ME! Does any body have any recommendations? Not just for these but for ANY doubles? I'm so at a loss and with only 3 months to go... I'm getting scared!

Trolls and the power of social media

I always used to think Trolls were those rather ugly looking plastic figures with funky coloured hair that I used to lovingly brushed when I was younger, but this past month has taught me that there is a whole new kind of troll out there... the human kind.

Alot of you know that I use social media such as Instagram, twitter and Facebook. I mean who doesn't these days? I've always loved everything social media and there was even a time (pre-kids) that  I wanted a career that involved this very same thing, however it's amazing how one situation can change you view on something you have been a personal cheerleader for. The other month I was sent some uncharacteristically negative messages/comments on various posts. It didn't seem to bad at the time and without realising what I was doing I read the messages/comments, digested them and answered them. I mean Instagram had always been the most positive social media channel I had the pleasure of encountering, so why would this be any different, perhaps I had genuinely annoyed this person and had a need to explain myself. However it didn't stop there.

Shortly following this I started getting 3 or  messages a day with negative comments about my life or should I say, my Instagram life. Mainly targeting that of my skills as a parent. It cut real deep, Im not the most confident parent if Im being honest and like most mums I find myself second guessing myself daily (possibly hourly) so to see these anxieties written down and thrown at you was somewhat alarming and made m feel a little sick to the stomach. I tried to answer alot of these messages (stupidly) as a way of defending myself, which I now know was the completely wrong thing to do, but it seemed these 'people' latched on to this and what turned in 3 or 4 messages, ramped up to 15 + messages. 

These messages weren't just from one person, there seemed to be a whole hoard of non-identifiable members of Instagram who Id managed to anger through various parts of my life. I'm not the one to brush off comments or concerns about abilities, I like to tackle these things and I like the opportunity to better myself so perhaps I needed to tackle these head on? But by the end of one particular bad day the comments became less answerable and more downright evil.

I've been called a vile f****** woman, a terrible mother, I dont deserve to have children, my unborn child is unlucky to have me, Im a scrounger, I need to be reported to social services, my child is unhappy, my husband must be repulsed by me, I'm a fat dyke, my house is disgusting, I live in a pig sty, I use my anxieties to excuse why Im not back at work, I should go out and earn a living and stop expecting my husband to pay for my fat lazy self and the most hurtful: wishing my unborn child to die.

There were other things that were said, most I had to mentally block out but let me tell you this. All of those comments cut to my very core. they infiltrated my system and reverberated in my head over and over again until everything that I touched would make me stop and question whether my actions were making me what these people thought. In an ideal world and if I was of a stronger person I would just ignore and carry on but thats not me. Im a people pleaser, always has been. I want to be liked by everyone and if Im not I will work endlessly to make sure that I've corrected my faults in the hope that person might grow some love for me. I remember vividly being in the car with my husband and Liv and reading yet another message that had been sent that morning after a night of someone sending me messages through the night (we're talking almost every hour) and i tried so hard to stop the tears welling up. I felt so tired and broken. I cant explain what it felt like: to have someone throw what I can only call, abuse at you all the time it somehow seeps into your mind and your system until thats all you believe or think. I felt like I was questioning everything I had done or was doing.

Being the victim of a troll has changed my being and my belief in social media - my profile on Instagram is now private and Im skeptical to approve anyone now and thankfully the comments have ceased after blocking and making myself private. It has also made me wonder whether I should carry on with social media at all.... perhaps I should remain invisible to safe guard myself and life? The joy of posting that random picture on Instagram has taken a turn for me.. will I be misconstrued?  What also bothers me the most is the ease at which a troll can attack you on all channels. It makes me sick to my stomach to think this could happen to my daughters in years to come.... 

If anyone out there is experiencing anything similar, or has had it done to them I would love to speak to you. I'm still struggling to get over it and am constantly feeling watched or judged as a mother and a person. And if this is happening please speak out, tell someone close to you because it is utterly terrible.