When Liv was first born I thought I knew it all, I thought I was ready for motherhood. I WASN'T. Nope, not even close. I spent the majority of Liv's first few weeks glued to my new best friend: GOOGLE. I must've asked that god damn know-it-all every question under the sun: "why wont my baby stop crying, how long does it take for a baby to go for a poo, what should my babies poo look like, when will I get some sleep" needless to say Google did not fill me with joy, nor did it give me any answer that was in the way of logical.
Back when I was pregnant first time round, I didn't want to ask questions, being blissfully ignorant was pretty much the way forward for me, surely someone like me can handle this teeny tiny simple thing called motherhood - everyone else makes it look oh so simple - WRONG. I should've asked someone/anyone ALL of the questions, I should've ordered all the books and asked every expert - knowledge is power at the end of the day.
Things haven't really changed now mind. Here I am, Liv is 20 months old, I'm up the duff again and yet here I sit, no books, no questions, Im floating by on a sea of ignorance but this time its scaring me. I'm under no illusion that second time round isn't going to be a walk in the park - everyone (second time mothers) tell me its a piece of piss, which to them, Im really sure it is, but this is me we're talking about. So as I sit here with a mountain of questions, thoughts and a whole load of fears inside my head, I ask my self, WHY don't I want to seek help??
I'm so hugely embarrassed, that even after having one child, I'm here and I know NOTHING: don't get me wrong, I know how to change a nappy (which I totally didn't first time round) but this new bundle of flesh is going to be a whole new personality - one I do not know how to handle. Alongside this, my once cute and passive baby has morphed into a toddler (which personally I think is just another name for: TotallyOverthetopinDecisiveDepressiveLazyEnergeticRunt) that currently cannot control or choose her emotions from one minute to the next. Tantrums, tears, screaming, shouting, lying on the floor, stubbornness, the bloody word NO... jeez, toddlers are a law unto themselves, AND I NEED HELP!
So, with some slight trepidation I purchased my first HELP book...... and yknow what? it feels good to be educating myself. The parent police didn't come after me with pitchforks and the postie didn't laugh at me after he delivered it to me, it just feels jolly nice to have some back up information to read to help to cement actions, or the feelings I'm having. I'm pretty sure there are mothers out there who roll their eyes at me, and I guess I would too a year ago, but now? I need all the educated help I can get and I am sooooo not sorry.
What's your views on self-help books? Are they a help or hindrance?
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