Re-Cap....

So its been a while since I've had the pleasure of updating the blog - the kids, life, and the big C is somewhat consuming, unfortunately.

So where am I in terms of treatment? still on chemo, still enduring the daily task of dealing with side effects and having to manage 3 kids. It's not easy, I wish I could say it was but its really not.

Alongside the 'standard' side effects: sickness, diarrhoea, stomach cramps, sore feet and hands, the one that it almost too hard to describe is the bone crushing tiredness and fatigue. It's not even a sleep tiredness, my body physically hurt and just wants to lay still... for a long time. Of course with daily life, that type of rest doesn't happen all that often.

How long is this treatment going to carry on for? at least until July where surgery is imminent, however several bone issues a re causing me some kind of headaches of which I shall find out cause and prognosis in due time.

Home life? well, we are still staying in temporary accommodation until the house we purchased is habitable. It was an old house that was lived in by an old couple for over 40 years so as you can imagine not alot of work was done, enter us. Its a long process making sure everything is safe for a family to move into, a process that being done on one income is hard but where there's a will, there's a way.

The kids... well, they are still so absolutely crazy and gorgeous. Liv is 4 and well and truly settled into school life albeit some issues with friendship groups. She is still the most sweetest, kindest and thoughtful girl she always was. Paige is 2 going on 22 and is a force to be reckoned with although despite the hard exterior there is some serious love going on there. Carter is now 17 months old - can you believe it? He is still a mummies boy and clings to me for dear life pretty much 15 hours a day, but he is a loveable rogue. He has massive hands that remind me of Wreck it Ralph and a mullet that would easily win some awards.

All in all we are ok, cos we have to be. I've never tried to pretend that the cancer journey is easy, I'm not one of these people that is overly positive, because you know what it aint all sweetness and light. I have days that are really positive and days where I can't be arsed to fix that smile on my face - but that my friends, is just life.

A cuppa tea and TERRANCE

So, it has been a sodding long time since I've blogged. I mean, I've had anther baby,the beautiful baby boy carter, I've been in hospital with him being seriously poorly, and I've been manically busy trying to find some sort of rhythm with my gorgeous brood. And of course when things JUST settle down....I find I have cancer.

No seriously I'm not even shitting you. CANCER

Like...what?!!?! I cant even believe I'm typing that but here I am.

I wont bore u with all the teeny details so here is a very quick fire round of what happened: just before Christmas 2018 when I was having my normal 2 second shower,because y'know, kids, I felt an odd small hard lump to the side of my right breast. It didn't hurt it was just a hard lump. NOTHING in my tiny mind thought PANIC, in fact I dismissed it, and swiftly forgot about it. Literally. And of course my beautiful baby boy got sick, went into hospital and well, that teeny lump popped right outta my mind but that teeny lump wasnt done growing...

By the New Year and February, in another shower (I had showered in between I can assure you!) I was very much aware of the lump as it was now visible under the skin so I made a routine GP appointment. After the appointment and they're assurance that it wasn't anything sinister they referred me to the local breast clinic to have it checked over. And then Cancer happened, as in those words fell out of the consultants mouth.

My life had changed.

So, here I am, still alive thank fcuk, 8 months down the line. 8 months of the hardest slog, 8 months of treatment, and 8 months of still having cancer - it hasn't gone and I am still in treatment. Many of times I wondered if it would be cathartic to tell my story: the story of my cancer but I didn't want to bore, but lucky for you here I am... ready to hash it all up. In an effort to help my mind heal from the trauma I want to get it all out.

So enter this blog.... A cuppa tea and Terrance the tumour.